Monday, December 22, 2008

O!

I'm in Omaha, my home town and a city I truly love to visit, regardless of the weather. (That's a tough admission this week, believe me!) During trips here I often have to find a gift for a coworker or dogsitter or someone I am trying to convince to visit with me. I've found bells, plates, steaks, shirts and hats. This trip I am supposed to find a snow globe. I can't find an Omaha snow globe to save my life! I went to the Chamber of Commerce and the city's Visitor's and Convention Bureau. I asked why they don't have a snow globe to reflect their great logo...


They looked at me like I was mad. I guess living in a snow globe they couldn't imagine that other people collect snow globes. But don't you think this symbol could have made a great snow globe?

Check out the O! Gallery here

OH GREAT!

Six Random Facts about Me

Just what everyone wanted....

Thank you, Chris at "As Seen from Up Here..."

The rules are: 1. Link to the person who tagged you. 2. Post the rules on your blog.
 3. Write six random things about yourself.
 4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them. 
5. Let each person know they've been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
 6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

I think I will skip #4 & 5 (Mostly because I have to get along with my brother this week and I don't know 5 other bloggers) but here goes.

1. I eat peanut butter and miracle whip sandwiches regularly.
There! That should stop most people from reading any further.

2. I never ever go to the gym regardless of how I look.
I know...I know....that sounds like an ego unchecked but I can thank my mother for my body type. I pretty much can eat what I want and not gain much weight. Living on the 3rd floor with a very slow elevator helps with that as well as having a dog who loves his walks!

If I do gain weight, I just need to cut down the soda and snacks from the machines at work and I lose 20 lbs in a very short time. Thanks again, Mom. Sorry, Chris, you got Dad's body type ... and walk.

3. I get a real boost going to the Kindergarten rooms and being told I'm pretty.
I know they don't mean it but some days it's all I'm gonna get!

4. I love riding the teacups at Disneyland so fast that anyone riding with me has to ask me to stop!
5. I love classic cars and can look at them for hours on end.
Unfortunately, the closest I have come to owning one is this...


6. I can fall asleep anywhere I am warm, comfortable and slightly reclined!
A movie, the barber, the dentist...you name it.

OK! That's it. I'm done. Brother Chris? Do you want to be tagged? Jen? It's up to you!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

I don't need no stinkin' Hummer

Just who do you suppose had more fun, had more people thinking "CHRISTMAS!" and got a few dreary shoppers to smile?

Scenario #1



Scenario #2

Even the local Village cop, who tickets everyone except the jaywalkers (freakin' jaywalkers!), waved and smiled as I drove the 2 miles home.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

A Special Request for a repeat...

Christmas when I was a kid was always fun. I look back at it now and while it may not have been sleigh rides to Grandma's and big family gatherings, it was full of fun and some crazy goings on for a conservative, midwestern state. I'm sure the nuns would have been mortified if I'd shared a few of the stories from the Santa's Reindeer files.


I got the Beany doll from Santa Claus , of course. Beany and Cecil was an animated show. I don't remember anything about it except that Beany always was in some kind of trouble, he was almost always happy and smiling, and he could fly with his Beany. I wanted a flying Beany so badly!


Every Christmas eve, Santa would come to our house to make sure we were ready for him to come during the night. He was huge! His red suit was bright and clean and his belly did shake when he let out a loud "Ho! Ho! Ho!" He'd bring us one present or two. Then sometimes he'd remember something about when we'd been bad or good during the year. Sometimes he'd make a joke with the adults, particularly any visitors, about something they'd done bad or good. I didn't get why they'd laugh but I was glad that everyone loved Santa coming to our house. When he'd leave after a few minutes, (He had to get to your house, too!) Santa would take us to the door. He'd tell us to listen for his reindeers' sleigh bells. We'd stand at the door in our pjs and after a few seconds we'd hear real, honest to goodness sleighbells! He'd tell us to go to bed and he'd be gone. It was magical!

As I got older, and figured things out, I insisted we continue with the tradition. I know my folks thought "There's something wrong with that boy!" But I insisted. It was all EXACTLY the same Everyone knew this was Santa. Now, I would get the jokes with the adults but otherwise nothing changed. After Santa left, brother Chris and I would put on our coats and gloves & go out the other door. We'd head out to the driveway, where Santa, his daughters Sue and Nancy Adams and my dad were waiting in a steamed up car that smelled of hot humans, beer and Christmas! We headed out to stand around the corners of other houses all over town. Nancy, Sue, Chris and I would listen for the door to open, wait for our cue and ring the heck out of those real, honest to goodness sleighbells. Then we'd get back in the car and drive to the next house. Santa might enjoy the beer the dad at the last house handed him. We might get some treat they sent to the reindeer but it was great fun. We were packed tight in the car, getting hot, jumping out into the piles of snow, laughing, trying to be quiet and had some real magical once in a lifetime moments.

One time, as Santa was getting into the car, someone pointed out there was a little boy looking out the door up the hill at his house across the street. Santa grabbed up something, got out of the car, talked to the little guy, gave him some trinket and, as he was leaving, the mother touched his elbow and said, "I don't know who you are, but, bless you, sir." I do know who he was and he was Santa. He did have an alter-ego disguise that was pretty convincing. He'd act a little gruff and scary 364 days a year in this "Clark Kent" disguise but I know that was all an act.

He wasn't Mr. Adams....he was Santa.
You can ask my brother or my mom or anyone else who was
lucky enough to have him come to their house.
Just look! Can't you tell?
This must be a costume! Who'd dress
like this for real? It's just a
distraction to hide his true identity!

Bless you, Santa!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

TMI Tuesday again!


1. What is your favorite Thanksgiving food?
I really don't like most Thanksgiving foods and have been known to grill a steak for myself to avoid the turkey to the envy of many at the table. I guess my favorite would be really good stuffing or sweet potatoes (No marshmallows, please!)

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?
I really would have so many choices,,,The Spice Girls, Mariah Carey (just because you have that 7 octave range you don't have to use it on every song or screech to reach them), Neil Diamond ("He sings like your Daddy should!" one female friend said...No he sings like my Daddy DID!), Black Oak Arkansas...

3. You seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy crap, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?
It seems like this might be a good time to buy low and get some deals in the stock market... really

4. What is your favorite curse word?
Nothing can replace a long drawn out sheeet or a fast and low Fuck!

5. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?
I'd love to have seen so many eras for so many reasons, The American Revolution, Ancient Greece, the Antebellum South, Berlin in the 20s and again in the 30s, etc. But I
would have loved to have spent time with Eleanor Roosevelt as I think she was so inspirational as someone who came into her own despite the naysayers beating down on her.

Bonus You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be?
I really have to admit I stole this from a few other blogs I read but...

I want that Star Wars Obi-Wan Kenobi hand wave

**I should be bumped up to First Class!**

You should be bumped up to First Class!

**You really don't want me in the standard room!'

I don't want you in a standard room. I'lI have to upgrade you to the Imperial Suite!

Friday, November 21, 2008

awwwwwwwwww

Live streaming video by Ustream

Wow



I mentioned before the power of music in the last blog. It can move us to tears or laughter. It can conjure up our greatest moments of pain or joy.

One song that my students wanted to sign was 'Imagine'. It would have been great because the words are simple, the tempo is slow and the meaning is positive. However, when that song was chosen overwhelmingly by the kids and me, it was vetoed by the principal. Why? Because of this one lyric. -

And no religion too.

So, today I was reading the paper and there was an article about a billboard in Rancho Cucamonga. The city asked the billboard company to take it down because they'd received complaints. This is the billboard:

Is their faith in God so shaky and limited and unsure that a simple message must be removed? What if it made someone ask a question? Isn't exploration of our beliefs the best way to confirm them and make them stronger? I guess that is only if they are firmly established in our being.

I found it ironic that this happened on the same day I read that the Vatican had finally forgiven John Lennon. When you're playing catch up to the Catholic Church in forgiving people who have offended your beliefs (Copernicus, Galileio, John Lennon, Dame Edna, etc), you are really backward. Even God must be rolling his eyes in disbelief at the fragility of their beliefs!

**Note: I first read about this offense on the Freedom of Speech this morning. Then, I planned how to make it blog worthy. THEN as I signed on tonight, I read what my bro Chris blogged over at Max's Dad. Great minds, bro....Great minds!

The Power of Music...

I started my career teaching the deaf. If you saw Children of a Lesser God, that is what I did only with Pre-school - Fifth grade kids. I moved to California and taught hearing kids. After an unfortunate year at one school I transferred to a school that was predominantly Air Force officer's families. Life was good. Those kids behaved!

Each year when I was teaching Kinder or First Grade, I taught the kids how to sign a song. We usually did a simple Ella Fitzgerald song. My favorite was her slow jazzy 'White Christmas'. The kids would not sing. They would sign only. During the instrumental bridge, the kids would whip out some Ray Ban Wayfarers and snap their fingers to the music, doing their best to look cool. Just as Ella started to sign again they would fall back into an orderly group and finish their silent sign language interpretation.

I promised them their moms would cry! The kids were beside themselves thinking they could make their moms cry. As they sang, I could see they were gleefully waiting for their moms to cry. It always happened! The kids were thrilled, the mothers thought I was the most wonderful teacher in the world and I'd get my hands kissed by some overwrought mother. All was good with the world.

In 1991, when I had the great opportunity to teach 5th grade to the same group of kids I had taught 1st grade to, we approached it differently. They were all excited about learning a different song. So we planned on doing a song at the Winter Festivals. However, my school had a major review by the state planned and we would perform at the weekly flag ceremony the week the review team visited. Manipulative, huh? I told the kids they could pick the song. So early in the year, probably September, they started to pick songs. It had to have a positive meaning, be pretty repetitive and have simple lyrics. They had a few choices and I was torn. We finally chose "From a Distance". It was great. We were to perform it on January 25.

The First Gulf War started January 16, 1991. By then, most of the fathers and some of the mothers were fighting. I had not only the mothers in the audience, but the principal, the other teachers and the entire review team from the State in tears. My kids, overwhelmed at the sobbing, almost lost it.

I'll never forget the serendipitous choice of songs that the kids made. I returned later for these kids' high school graduation and they all still recalled the entire experience. The power of music is amazing.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I loved this joke so much

Thank you, Lea!



Koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint.


When a little lizard walked past, looked up and said,

'Hey Koala! What are you doing?'

The koala said,
'Smoking a joint; come up and have some.'

So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala and shared the joint with Koala.

After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was dry and that he was going to get a drink from the river.


But, the little lizard was so stoned that he leaned too far over and fell into the river.

A crocodile saw this, swam over to the little lizard, and helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard,

'What's the matter with you?'

The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he got too stoned, and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile said that he had to check this out, walked into the rain forest, and
found the tree where the koala was sitting finishing the joint. The crocodile looked up and said
"Hey you!"

So the koala looked down at him and said,
'Shit, dude.....How much water did you drink?!!'

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

My Dad was cool...


My dad was cool. No, not because he purchased a used monstrosity of 1970 GM design like you see above.

Chris over at "As Seen from Up Here..." wrote about his experience with a slutty Chevrolet Chevette when he was in high school. Lea came out of a long hibernation to confirm the Chevette's slutty behavior in a comment, too! (Welcome back, Lea!) I think it was something in the Chevies of the 1970s. It certainly wasn't any of us.

My experience was driving a dark green 1970 Chevrolet Station Wagon through high school. I don't think I have ever shared this story with my family so fasten your blogosphere seatbelts...

I went to a high school in a well-to-do community. Not only did most of the kids seem to drive presentable cars, but a good sized group of them actually drove cars I'd still only be able to lust after in my heart. There were Camaros and Mustangs, Trans Ams and Celicas! There was also a smattering of more exotic cars... a Porsche 911, an MGB, a Triumph, a Citroen SM and a Lotus Eclat...One dad was a car collector.



So, you'd imagine that I was really mortified driving this big station wagon. Well, no...

The problem with those desirable cars was the same problem Chris had with the Chevette. No Room!! However, the wagon could easily accommodate a friend, his girlfriend and most anything they'd need to make themselves comfortable.

Friends can help friends in a number of ways. Here's the way it worked.

Around 8, I'd meet a friend and his girlfriend at a predetermined location, usually (and stupidly) close to the high school 6 blocks east of my home. We'd swap keys and determine a time to meet back up. I'd have the evening cruising the streets of Omaha in a nice Mustang or a really cool Lotus. Of course, I have no idea what they did.

So, what's all this got to do with my dad and his coolness factor?

One evening, 2 blocks into my evening of fancy car cruising,
I stopped at the light at 90th and Pacific just a few blocks from home. I think I was driving Mike's Porsche 911. My head was swimming with ideas of where I'd drive, who I might take along or something. I heard a honk and turned my head to see what fool I'd be leaving in my exhaust fumes when the light changed.



The orange Toyota beside me was no match for the Porsche. I had it made! When I met the aggressive gaze of the other driver, my Dad just nodded and turned his eyes back to the road.

I believe I chose to turn right. So clever I was!


Since there were no cell phones to frantically call Mike, I met up with him at the appointed time and spedt home. I made it in the door and crept halfway down the stairs to my basement bedroom when the door to the upstairs opened.

"I don't know why you were driving that car. I don't know where our car was. I do know you won't be able to drive any car ever again if that happens again."
And, I swear, he snickered.

Needless to say that was the end of my exotic car cruising.

My Dad was cool.

Oh, yeah...Bro? Never, ever sleep on the mattress on that fold out bed Mom has in the basement, okay?

Thursday, November 6, 2008

File under "Texting Discretion"

An anonymous friend might be a bit chagrined that he forgot one of the

Communication Rules for the 21st Century
#271 Remember that you don't know who may be holding the phone when it receives your text message!
Luckily, I am too discreet to mention the identity of my friend or to say how kind it would be of you to call this anonymous friend (if you knew his identity!) and inquire about his condition!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

I've been quiet...

But I have been so torn up waiting for yesterday to happen. I was sure that the election was going to be rigged again against my side and we'd have 4 more years of the Bush years. I was sure the hatred and lies spewed by the Yes on 8 supporters would win out and discrimination was going to be written into our state constitution. Well, I was only half disappointed. However, no one can ignore the change in the way things feel with President-elect Obama's election. It's a real gift to our country, a chance to reclaim our reputation as a leader of the free world and a beacon of hope for the world. Let's hope we don't blow it.

I'm eager for the continued fight to gain my full rights as an American citizen and have Prop 8 taken down. There has been not one single argument that makes any sense at all if you know what this phrase means: All men are created equal....

Now to my election story:

I went to my polling place as identified on my election guide, waited in line for 45 minutes, got redirected to the correct polling place, walked two blocks, waited in the longer line for a bit under an hour and got to vote! Yippee!

While I was there an elderly woman (EW) came in being pushed in a wheelchair by a cute young female attendant (CYFA). The woman behind me (WBM) in line leaned down to her and started the most amusing conversation. (I kept thinking Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton bumping into each other on a street having a very similar conversation)

WBM in that "She's old so I will talk to her like she's a 5 year old" tone:

"Don't you look pretty today!"

EW with a very wry look in her eye:
" I try to look my best everyday when I get out but..."

CYFA interrupted a little too fast which made me start listening
"She's 101 and is as sharp as a tack!"

WBM still with that tone:
"You must have lived right and done all the right things to have lived that long!"

EW, less wry looking, more pissed off looking:
"I did whatever I wanted to do or whatever I thought was the right thing to do and that's how I made it to 101. Mother Teresa didn't make it to 101!"

CYFA looking a little amused and like there was a parade about to start:
"I've learned not to get into it with her. She's always got something to say!"

EW, now less pissed and more matter of fact, she turned her face toward the room of election workers and people in their booths and said in a slightly louder voice:
"I have something to say! Don't vote for that idiot John McCain. He is an idiot!"

LBM was speechless and I stifled a giggle as EW was wheeled up to the registration desk.

I loved listening to this polite, well spoken, opinionated woman not be condescended to. She reminded me of my own grandmother with her double-entendre jokes and naughty side comments she'd make to me when she knew only I could hear her.

It also reminded me of Mother Dexter from the TV show Phyllis...


Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Odd food...


Other than freshly helicopter-shot caribou (I have to make a Palin reference somehow), do you have any odd things you like to eat?

Over at As Seen from Up Here , Chris is asking about odd food combos. You'll have to check out the interesting combo he came across today. His blog's comments started talking about odd food choices or habits. These are mine:

* Peanut butter and Miracle Whip sandwiches. I once was reading through a book of trivial facts at a gift shop years ago. One page said

"Omaha, Nebraska has the lowest
per capita consumption of
mayonnaise in the US."


I almost spit across the room. I know that almost every salad, many deserts and some casseroles of my Nebraska experience require mayonnaise in HUGE quantities. Then I saw an * at the end of the sentence. I went to the bottom of the page and read

"The same can't be said for
Miracle Whip consumption."


Now that I must agree with. I have recipes that specifically state
"2 cups Mayonnaise (NOT Miracle Whip)"
because ... well, regardless of the popular sentiment there, they are not the same!

* I won't put a lemon wedge in my drinks. I'll squeeze the juice in and set it aside.
If it's already in the glass, I can live with it but won't put it back in. This drove my mom nuts for some reason. I reasoned that I had worked once in a very upscale restaurant for a month (hated it!) and saw lemons rolling everywhere. So I forwarded this to her ...

Mom came around.

I saw lots of things that I don't want to remember. But I'll always remember this:

Never piss off your server before the food arrives!
Do you have any beloved food combos or quirky food habits?

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

OK, I couldn't sleep! So...

I took a quiz and my insomnia actually was pertinent information!

Enjoy!

Your result for How Long Would you Survive in a Horror Film?...

The Black Guy

44% chance of survival!


Look, I think the whole "the black guy always dies first" stereotype in horror films is just awful. In fact, the black guy usually dies second. So cheer up. The black guy is the one who always wants to turn back; who thinks that what the rest of the gang is doing is crazy. In other words, he's the sane guy. It's always a shame to see the black guy get cut down, because he's almost always right and you know that the group's going to just go charging right in without him.











If you're ready for a lead role check out: Danny Glover, Predator 2; Laurence Fishburne, Event Horizon; Calvin Lockhart, The Beast Must Die; Taye Diggs, House on Haunted Hill; Sanaa Lathan, Alien vs. Predator; Tory Kittles, Frankenfish; Carla Greene, Shadow: Dead Riot; Teresa Farley, Breeders; and Alex Datcher, Body Bags.




All possible results:


Jock/Cheerleader


The Black Guy


The Horror Aficionado


The Hero/Heroine


The Killer



Please remember to rate, but more importantly, please message me if you've found any blatant errors (especially with the results page and links). Thanks!

Take How Long Would you Survive in a Horror Film? at HelloQuizzy


Saturday, October 25, 2008

Opie!

Been a lazy lazy day but that hasn't kept me from finding this!

OPIE!!!

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Mea Culpa! Mea Culpa!

I promise I will stop! I will stop in two and half weeks! Well, I hope I can stop in two and half weeks!

Man, these two are funny...


Monday, October 20, 2008

TMI Tuesday

Hey I think I was first! And it's Monday...

So welcome to TMI Monday! Nods to TMITuesday!

(Mom, stop reading now!)

1. Have you ever felt guilty or ashamed after a sexual experience?

Let's see...8 years of Catholic schooling...would it be possible to say "No."? No, it would not.
2. Did you ever own a fake ID?
Yes! My brother's draft card described me better than it did him. I used it from the time I was 16 until I was legal age of 19. I remember the bouncer who knew me rolling his eyes and saying "Oh, shit!" when he first checked my real ID and I had just turned legal age!
3. How often do you tell white lies? Is it with or without thinking?
It's a part of life to avoid hurting feelings, not spill secrets, maintain professional decorum, etc....isn't it? I stop and think once in a while, I guess.
4. On a scale of 1-10, how well do you receive constructive criticism?
8
5. Have you ever shaved your pubic hair?
Have I? No.

My wife thinks you're daid...

Because:

I am trying to break my Palin habit.....


And I love a song that sticks in your head....

And

This one


&


seem to be all over this week...


So here's one I have always liked!






I'm just sayin....

Sunday, October 19, 2008

JUST SOME RANDOM THOUGHTS!

I sat around most of the weekend and had time to have random thoughts....

With the economy the way it is and airline prices being what they are, it looks like the holidays will be a time of spending carefully and prioritizing those expenditures.

How does this tie all of the random thoughts below together? It doesn't.

Yes, I am thankful I am securely employed...as of Friday at 4:30 anyway!

#1
Since Christmas flights are out of this world, the first economic casualty appears to be any trips home to see Mom while she's at "The Hotel" as we call it. Since I have forbidden her to say that she's "in Rehab" (see my June blogs!) in my presence, we had to call it something. Lockdown sounded so...severe! She says she's doing better and will get home in a few weeks.

#2
It appears Thanksgiving will be the same as it has been nearly every year I have been in California. Not really knowing what I was going to do or where I would be eating until the last moment! Southern Chris and Lea were thinking about coming to beautiful Claremont for a So Cal Turkey Day but that looks like it won't be happening. I'm all disappointed as I was looking forward to a Southern Thanksgiving!

Please accept my heartfelt apologies as this could just as easily be anywhere USA
but that bucket really lent itself to this blog!

#3
I hate to admit it but I thought Sarah Palin was funny on SNL. I mean at least she made an effort to memorize the lines well enough to outdo Alec Baldwin's dullard reading from the cue cards! Oh, and I almost spit up when I saw the moose during the rap!

#4
I am not sure if I am supposed to be flattered or what but when you get mistaken for a porn star at the mall, do you say thanks? Someone came up to me at Nordies this afternoon when I stopped to get a new tie (It's picture day tomorrow!) and my fellow shopper (eventually) said I looked like Colton Ford. A lot like Colton Ford. I had no idea who that was but thought I should check it out considering my fellow shopper scared me a little. Well, to save doing "The Google" on him...
Former porn star, currently in the music biz, subject of a documentary....

You decide...



Thursday, October 9, 2008

Funny and NOT Political

This is what it looked like to me as a child! Really!

What a song!

I love it!
And you can sing along!


Saturday, October 4, 2008

Coochie Coochie? You Betcha

Gary Shandling, on Bill Maher's show last night, said that Joe Biden prepped for the debate by watching tapes of Johnny Carson with Charo!

BRILLIANT!



Now, I can agree with that!
Palin is (or acts like) a white Charo!


That's my point but I have to make the comparisons

Charo Sarah
Largely incomprehensible English grammar that you somehow manage to understand.

Charo X
Sarah X





Uses traditional feminine flirtation as a technique to connect with the audience.

Charo X
Sarah X





Has a verbal cue ending with the ch sound followed with a vowel


Charo Coochie
Sarah Betcha

Friday, October 3, 2008

Inspiration from yesterday!

First!
I have a whole new logic model I may use to understand the hockey moms of one of the miscreants at my school. See below:
(and, yes. I stole this from some website that I forgot but have seen it everywhere since)


And before you write, I apologize to ALL hockey moms.

This accurately charts Gov. Palin's circuitous route to winning any argument. Let's face it, she didn't do that badly. She played to the crowd who already doesn't know much in detail about the issues and thinks she's down home and "just like us". She's plays that down home role so well. She'd be fun to work with as long as that razor wit wasn't aimed at you. She'd be a hoot!

It had to get a little wearing on everyone after the third or fourth wink, however. And what does she mean giving kids extra credit!? Get government out of the schools! Lame but nevertheless her education answer was about her worst! Give them more money but isn't that the opposite of the Republican mantra?

So consider... Palin as Mayor? Yeah, though she's not that good at knowing how to plan growth in an attractive or fiscally responsible manner, administer the departments with finesse or improve a city's rep. She was a great booster for Wasilla, though...if you like anonymous big box stores.

A governor?
Well, when running it means cajoling big bucks from Washington, managing a non-diverse population, and taxing oil companies to get each resident some share of their state's wealth, she's done okay for two years even though she seems to have run it like her own personal treehouse (No Palin Haters allowed!)

President? C'mon. No. Never. Haven't we learned what a C student can do? Seriously. Not having someone with a command of the issues has really wrecked us....

We aren't having a beer with her for goodness sakes, she'd be representing us and running this country! And, shame on John McCain, the maverick, the straight talker, for not choosing someone who he knew would be good for the USA and instead pandering to the far right wing of his party.

But you know the one thing that really bothered me at last night's debate? Her greeting and asking "May I call you Joe?"

Did she really think he was that stupid?

The moment he tried to call her 'Sarah' and take her down a notch, he'd be accused of "attacking a woman!" He'd have been called every name in the book and she'd have scored big. But leave it to Joe the Shark...he called her Governor Palin! God love ya, Joe!

It reminded of a fellow Kindergarten teacher I worked with in a heavily military community. An arrogant father came to a conference. He always gave the teachers almost as much trouble as his sons did. She said, "Hello Sgt. Conrad!" He said "Hi Sharon! Call me Pat!" She stood up, looked up at him and said. "No, I'm Mrs. Penn and you're Sgt. Conrad." And that was the end of that. She had no trouble with him and very little with his sons.

Oh, and one thing I gotta give Gov. Palin...

I admire her hair much more than Sen. Biden's!


Monday, September 29, 2008

Sarah, that really cool girl from Alaska...


Sarah, that really cool girl from Alaska who is, like, so funny, was on tonight again.

I thought we were gonna be cracking up laughing about Russia and the health care plan for the economy and keeping all the jobs and the international stuff and all kindsa talk but, sheesh,

her old man was with her.
Damn! She'll never get out alone again!

Oh, but next time she's out with Joe Biden alone!
(unless her old man decides she still needs a chaperone!!)

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Head of Skate!

Be sure you listen for the son's name as she responds to the request to be Vice President!

Too funny!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Random thoughts

A very wise friend and co-worker was once asking me about someone I worked with. I was having a great amount of difficulty describing this obviously intelligent, educated and kind-of-experienced person who was a dismal failure at the job. My friend said

"She's one of the scariest kinds!
She doesn't know what she doesn't know."


I can't think of a better application of that description than with Sarah Palin. And that is why she's dangerous.
* She isn't curious about the world (Never been out of the US until a year or so ago?)

* She isn't interested in divergent thought or opinion (She called anyone who disagreed with her in Alaska, even her supporters "Haters")

* She's willing to take her lumps because of it. (Speak to her daughter)

But should we have to suffer along with her? She may have opposed the Bridge to Nowhere after she supported it and accepted the money for it but should we have to join her on another bridge to nowhere?

Dr. K has got to be thinking "She's got A+ legs and a D- intellect!"

Sexist? No, honest. I love strong women! (see below)
We all use our looks to the best of our abilities (That shy grin, the innocent eyes, the conspiratorial smirk, whatever..) so there's nothing sexist about being called on it when we do.

Next thought:
While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year old Texas rancher whose
hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a
conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Sarah
Palin and her bid to be a heartbeat away from being President.

The old rancher said, 'Well, ya know, Palin is a post turtle.' Not being
familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a post turtle was.

The old rancher said, 'When you're driving down a country road and you
come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post
turtle.'

The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued
to explain. 'You know she didn't get up there by herself, she doesn't
belong up there, she doesn't know what to do while she is up there, and
you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put her up there to begin with.

Next thought:
My mom's new hip!

No, not that hip!

The other one Yes! She fell and broke the other one on Saturday night. She's doing fine, surgery was the same as last time only reversed. She's feeling well enough to complain! You gotta love a SMART strong woman!

And a small request to my devoted and wonderful brother who works his way through these trials and tribulations without complaint:
Never!
Ever!
Start a post surgical update with the words:
"It's all over..."



"It's all over..."

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

A Picture = Lotsa Words...



I was speechless when I saw this picture...

Thoughts and conjectures were flying through my brain...

They were so unfair, so untrue and so downright unAmerican...


AND perfect to post during the Republican Convention! The party that encourages
Swiftboating, talk of McCain's nonexistent illegitimate black baby, Ann Richards' untrue lesbianism, Valerie Plame's real and confidential CIA status and Karl Roves' performance of "I'm just a Girl who Can't Say No" as Karla Rovingeye at the Monday night Drop In Drag Karaoke in St. Paul...

So here are what might be a few good captions...

"My freakin' sister...I mean...um... My freaking mother AND my freakin' sister don't know how to use a condom but I get left holding the damn baby!""Honey, when the school nurse says who needs some condoms,
just do this!"


Be afraid! Be very afraid!

"No, he can't have a beer in the limo but get some condoms for the older two and a security guard for the younger one!"

and finally...
"Hell! I know they can't get a tan in Alaska like I do in Phoenix! The local WalMart's gotta sell some knee-his for these bumpkins!"

or

"Look, Alaska Girl, Michelle can get away with no stockings
and I can get away with no stockings
but you ain't us!"